dek's blog

Tomorrow I start a new adventure. As as always, I am a ball of nervous energy, oscillating between sheer terror and exuberance, and there’s a high chance this post will reflect my crazed brain. </fair warning>

It’s my first day tomorrow! I start as Product Owner at the Co-op Bookstore! Whhaaaat?!!
I’m crazy excited about this. 😀 It’s outside my comfort zone but man, I can’t wait to sink my teeth into the product and work with the team. It’s gonna be fun!
AND I get to keep my career record of getting jobs through my network. This was important to me, and I thought it was the end of that streak. <fist pump> Yeah!!

Some of you know how hard the past 8-9 months have been for me. I was doing every thing I could to keep my freelance business going, but it was a tough slog getting jobs and I plain ran out of runway.

So, to my support circle – Bree Clare, Loic Golliard, Albert Issa, Bruno Mattarollo, Danielle Hickie, Oliver Maruda, Radhika R, Alan Jones, Jim May, Tony Burrett, Zoe Ghani, Phil Morle, Clare Hallam, Josie Kidd – thank you, thank you, thank you. Thank you for all your help,  all your introductions, all your suggestions, your friendship, your generosity and your company, thank you for keeping me sane.

To @kcarruthers, @jodieM, @neil_killick, @Meta_Mike_Biggs, @brento, @damoxy, @Nathan_Reese, @maheshmurali, @fostersimonj, @kimheras, @ayumi, @bronwen – thank you for your RTs, passing my CV on, intros, taking an interest, helping just because you could. My thanks also to everyone, my followers or not, for retweeting my ‘looking for work’ tweets. I appreciate every single one.

I won’t be as immersed in the startup scene as I have been in the past seven years, and truth be told, I’m in two minds about that.
I will leave saying this – Aussie startups, you’ve *got* to start taking product more seriously.

Thank you and WOO HOOOO!! 😀

No really, I don’t. Actually, I vehemently oppose the practice.

To understand why, we need to go back a bit. When I was a kid, every New Year’s Eve I’d be asked about my resolutions, and I’d loudly proclaim them, having thought about them in preparation.

By the time I was 10 or 12, I was completely disillusioned with the whole thing. Each year started with such promise, such optimism, yet a few months in, I’d feel like I was letting myself and people around me down.

So I stopped.

And here’s the thing – many years later, after being suspended from university and having to essentially start building from scratch, I came to two conclusions.

1. We are made up of habits.
2. I suck at lofty but well-intended, noble goals.

This wasn’t a sudden realisation. Oh no, not at all. It came from a dark time, the biggest failure I had faced, a shattered ego and sense of self, unforgiving intense inquiry into my self, my actions, the causes and reasons for getting where I was.

But that first point – that was a major lightbulb moment when I put it together. We get used to acting the way we act, reacting the way we do, living the way we live. We don’t even think about these things on a daily basis. Setting one huge goal for the sake of it blinds us from all the little tiny changes we need to make in order to get there. We set a result without mapping the route. In startup terms – we talk about exit strategies without having done the gruelling product and customer grind.

What works for me is having a vague goal coupled with piecemeal chipping away and constant vigilance. And experimentation. Oh, the glorious data collection! Touching up and tweaking as we go along. Knowing that the 31st of Dec isn’t a deadline. The fun ends when I die dammit!

I’ve been reflecting on and investigating the past year a lot (more on that soon…ish) and have been making use of these ‘processes’ a lot. Processes are consistent slow-release happy pills. That’s much much more than resolutions have ever been for me.

Well, technically I’m in the Bay Area, but pandering to an international audience here 😛

So, my visa’s up tomorrow, am flying back to Sydney today.

I’m sitting in my version of heaven, Red Rock Coffee, for one last blast of smooth coffee goodness, and my mind’s whirring with a dozen thoughts and emotions.

I would say to anyone considering doing the same – Go for it! It ain’t easy, but it is (mainly) fun, and at the every least, it’s a good experience. Oh, and drop me a line, we’ll talk. 🙂

I haven’t gotten around to writing more about the experience of being on the bus…. it’s been a MAD week. Just got back to home base at Palo Alto, will look at my 1/2 dozen drafts tomorrow and attempt writing something coherent.

So here’s a place holder. That’s me introducing myself to the group.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZUQM1k6tTaY]

Hit the StartupBus channel on YouTube for everyone’s intro videos. There are some gems in there. Plus other random funny stuff. ;D

PS: I hereby apologise for subjecting you to the sound of my voice. How come no one told me it’s *that* bad?! Egads!

(….although it feels like a week has elapsed to be honest)

We met up at 6.30am, set off for the HP HQ, attended an invigorating talk by Phil McKinney, CTO of HP, and then got back on the bus. That’s when we heard everyone’s product ideas and talked about those between us, after which some clear idea winners and teams began to form.

Teams are fully formed now (11.25pm local time) and some progress has been made.

Challenges –

• Space – or the lack of it. It’s very hard to have group discussions with more than 2-3 people on a bus. Also very hard to juggle the niggly gadget stuff.
• Movement – Felt the morning sickness the moment I opened my lappie in the morning. We stopped for some anti-motion sickness pills, and it’s been ok since then, cept for the time we were stuck in LA traffic. UGH
• Personal space – This is one which might be particular to me. Just not used to being around people and noise all the time. I feel like I don’t have any thinking space. Being in the bus is like being in a box. Feels like my brain is too. Let’s face it, it’s hard to take a thinking walk on a moving bus. 🙂
• Food – As usual, finding it hard to eat healthy on a trip like this, but that’s a minor issue I was prepared for. Have had too much caffeine today. Waaaay too much
• Energy – Despite the caffeine overload, still so tired. Brain dead. The hope is to get some good sleep tonight. *fingers crossed*

I must say, there was a moment I questioned myself. Felt like running away from the bus. 😛 But then I remembered how much I was enjoying it earlier in the afternoon and felt better. (Not to mention the fact that I have no energy to run anywhere anyways….)

We’re almost at the hotel. YAY! Adios amigos. Bed and sleep beckon.

Oh, and remember, you can keep track of where we are and what’s happening here: http://sxsw2010.thestartupbus.com/

So I quit my job in Sydney, spent a month clearing the house and getting my affairs in order, hopped on a plane, and here I am, in freezy San Francisco.

“What’s next?” I hear you ask… Answer: The Startup Bus!

About 30 people will get on a bus tomorrow at 6.30am (d’oh!) and head to Austin, Texas in time for South by Southwest. On the way, we’ll cook up, create and work on a few startups which have to be ready to launch in Austin!

I’m really looking forward to it. Can’t wait to get all startup-y again. And everyone on the bus seems really nice. Got to meet some of the crew at the send off party Atlassian threw us just now. So yes, very excited. Also very very nervous & anxious. Egads!! I have no idea how I’m gonna get any sleep tonight….

So follow @thestartupbus (or me!) on Twitter and keep up with how we go! Will throw in a link to the site once it’s up. Got a glimpse of it just now – it has a lot of cool stuff!

To startups and beyond! </Buzz Lightyear>

So it’s my last day at Tangler. That’s right, I actually resigned from my position. Who woulda thunk it?!
Occasions such as these tend to trigger reflections, and I’ve had a fair few running through my head. Gotta get em out before brain implodes.

First up, a beeeg Thank You to my awesome team – everyone I had the pleasure of working with. (I shan’t name names right now, they know who they are!) You’ve become my teachers, my friends, my mentors, my supporters. I’ve been thinking back to my first day at work, and the thing that stands out to me is what an incredibly educational journey the past 3+ years have been. Turned a N00b into a semi-geek, you did. 🙂

I also have to acknowledge all the amazing people I’ve met through my stint at Tangler. There’s a special group of cool, crazy and charming people I couldn’t imagine life without – my fellow Tangler and TanglerLive addicts. [See ya in our forums ;)] Also, the ever helpful and generous Sydney and beyond startup/geek/web community. So many people have gone beyond the call of duty for me. I owe many a *insert cold/hot beverage of choice*.

The immediate question I get when I tell someone about this is “What’s next?”. The simple answer – another startup: Me!
I’m not completely done with Tangler; I’ll be consulting with them on an ongoing basis. And I fly to San Francisco in about a month. The long term goal is to work and live there.
~Flashback~ I remember a couple of weeks after I started working at Tangler, I turned to Marty and said, “This is it. This is what I want to do for the rest of my life. I’m a startupper!”
Nothing’s changed. I love the startup life, it’s what I wanna do forever and ever and ever. I love the roller-coaster ride that it is, the teamwork it requires, the innovation and improvisation it lets me indulge in.
Hence San Francisco. Can’t wait to being smack in the middle of Startup Central! 😀

We’ll see what happens. It’s both thrilling and terrifying – what in the world am I getting meself into?! Egads!! – but I’m chuffed that I’m giving it a shot. After all, that’s what matters doesn’t it?